English
မြန်မာ
A father's behavior that affects the child's mental security
Not like that, but always not understanding the child's natural exploration and doing anything to hi...
Not like that, but always not understanding the child's natural exploration and doing anything to hinder the child, will scream will blame I'll be hitting If you growl to prevent doing anything, the child will not do anything. If you don't dare to explore, you will always be afraid of having to do something. That kind of mind is a kind of insecurity. When you don't feel the warm affection of a child, you start thinking that the world is full of fear, and you become insecure. A child with such insecurity does not explore anything, You can't learn anymore, and you can't get innovation out of your brain. Then age-specific development may be slow, It can also affect the child's ability to think. That's why it's important for a child to feel safe. The habits that can make a child feel insecure have a lot to do with their primary caregiver, the parent. Usually, the working mother and the child are at odds, and the insecurities that can be obtained from the working father are more. (I don't mean all of them. Most of the time) Read on to see what kind of behavior that would be.
1) Being very aggressive about the child's behavior
Children are more likely to understand and remember what they know after exploring. In addition to that, the parents can talk about the possible consequences in advance. They should be allowed to do it themselves, unless there is too much risk involved. Only when it happens, does it become a kind of thinking, "Is this what my mother said..." From there, it can become the stage of "If my mother says it's right...I have to listen." But some parents don't realize that. No matter what the child is doing, he is anxious and starts screaming and trying to stop the child. Without knowing the benefits of why not doing it, the child was forced to stop what he wanted to explore, so even if he wanted to do something in the child's mind, would my father yell at me? Will my father beat me? The fear of what my father will do..... is increasing. That is the child's insecurity. If such a state of mind happens, the child will not be able to study and explore anything. In addition to that, they can become unspeakable children who do more than they do. After that, I will suffer the negative consequences that I am worried about. That's why overreacting and blocking the child You should not act excessively.
2) Inconsistency in speech and behavior
Another thing is that words and deeds do not match. For example. You don't get to play any games today. Even though the child is forbidden, the father himself is playing the game. I will buy a big robot for my son... But when he came back, the robot didn't come with him. Such behavior makes the child distrust you. When there is such a lack of trust, the child does not respect you, and even if you say something, it doesn't matter. When the time is right, my father will do what he wants to do. "Not really" can cause insecurity. Fathers should not forget that mental security can also come from deep trust and concern.
3) Arguing with his mother; Fighting and slapping
Children who are used to seeing the behavior of father and mother always fighting, are always terrified by the thought that father or mother will start fighting with me just by yelling and screaming. It's a kind of insecurity. Through this, the child is always scared and afraid, no longer active and joyful, and the child nature is lost.
4) Lack of active encouragement
A child creates something with his own intuition. For example, I drew a family painting on a blank book. If parents don't recognize the child's efforts. A child's effort may have needs; Even though I want to go to all over the world, We need to push past the weaknesses and actively support the child's bravery. "Heh.....that's a beautiful drawing, Draw it even more beautiful." Even my mother doesn't know how to do it, A child who is used to being encouraged by the words "Daddy likes it now" becomes willing to try to make anything good. It gives me the peace of mind that my parents will support me no matter what I do. A child who is not encouraged in this way does not want to try to create more. He can feel insecure as if he is alone in his world with the feeling that "no one is on my side no matter what I do."
5) Too much criticism
The same goes for parents who are constantly criticizing their children. No matter what the child does, "You're so bad, can you make it more beautiful?" You're useless. Can't you even do this?" When the child is criticized and blames the child, etc., the child becomes depressed and feels like a useless person.
After reading all the above points, not only the father, but also the mother, examine yourself and try to correct what should be corrected for the child. In order for a child to grow up to be a good person and adult, it is very important that the parents provide care during their childhood. I grew up with my child and became weak, Tears are easy to do, If we don't want to become a nation of poor morale, we need to teach and nurture children from their childhood to have a sense of security. Only then will we be able to face the world with a strong spirit throughout our growing up life. I can write that they will become adults full of spirit.
1) Being very aggressive about the child's behavior
Children are more likely to understand and remember what they know after exploring. In addition to that, the parents can talk about the possible consequences in advance. They should be allowed to do it themselves, unless there is too much risk involved. Only when it happens, does it become a kind of thinking, "Is this what my mother said..." From there, it can become the stage of "If my mother says it's right...I have to listen." But some parents don't realize that. No matter what the child is doing, he is anxious and starts screaming and trying to stop the child. Without knowing the benefits of why not doing it, the child was forced to stop what he wanted to explore, so even if he wanted to do something in the child's mind, would my father yell at me? Will my father beat me? The fear of what my father will do..... is increasing. That is the child's insecurity. If such a state of mind happens, the child will not be able to study and explore anything. In addition to that, they can become unspeakable children who do more than they do. After that, I will suffer the negative consequences that I am worried about. That's why overreacting and blocking the child You should not act excessively.
2) Inconsistency in speech and behavior
Another thing is that words and deeds do not match. For example. You don't get to play any games today. Even though the child is forbidden, the father himself is playing the game. I will buy a big robot for my son... But when he came back, the robot didn't come with him. Such behavior makes the child distrust you. When there is such a lack of trust, the child does not respect you, and even if you say something, it doesn't matter. When the time is right, my father will do what he wants to do. "Not really" can cause insecurity. Fathers should not forget that mental security can also come from deep trust and concern.
3) Arguing with his mother; Fighting and slapping
Children who are used to seeing the behavior of father and mother always fighting, are always terrified by the thought that father or mother will start fighting with me just by yelling and screaming. It's a kind of insecurity. Through this, the child is always scared and afraid, no longer active and joyful, and the child nature is lost.
4) Lack of active encouragement
A child creates something with his own intuition. For example, I drew a family painting on a blank book. If parents don't recognize the child's efforts. A child's effort may have needs; Even though I want to go to all over the world, We need to push past the weaknesses and actively support the child's bravery. "Heh.....that's a beautiful drawing, Draw it even more beautiful." Even my mother doesn't know how to do it, A child who is used to being encouraged by the words "Daddy likes it now" becomes willing to try to make anything good. It gives me the peace of mind that my parents will support me no matter what I do. A child who is not encouraged in this way does not want to try to create more. He can feel insecure as if he is alone in his world with the feeling that "no one is on my side no matter what I do."
5) Too much criticism
The same goes for parents who are constantly criticizing their children. No matter what the child does, "You're so bad, can you make it more beautiful?" You're useless. Can't you even do this?" When the child is criticized and blames the child, etc., the child becomes depressed and feels like a useless person.
After reading all the above points, not only the father, but also the mother, examine yourself and try to correct what should be corrected for the child. In order for a child to grow up to be a good person and adult, it is very important that the parents provide care during their childhood. I grew up with my child and became weak, Tears are easy to do, If we don't want to become a nation of poor morale, we need to teach and nurture children from their childhood to have a sense of security. Only then will we be able to face the world with a strong spirit throughout our growing up life. I can write that they will become adults full of spirit.
